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Oneliners - Battle of the Sexes
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 Why do men buy encyclopedias when their wives already know everything?
If a man speaks in the forest, with no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong?
No matter how good looking she is, some other guy is already sick and tired of her
rubbish!
Save time... See things my way!
I'm willing to make the mistakes if you're willing to learn from them.
Instead of trying to 'keep up with the Joneses', isn't it cheaper to drag them down to your level?
Yes, I know smoking is bad for me, but nagging me about it might be bad for you.
None of us can turn back the clock, but you can always wind it up again.
Do you love me because I'm beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Who was it said, "Beauty is only a light switch away?"
Don't look for a friend without faults, you'll never find one.
Of all the theories about arguing with women. None of them work.
The bible says 'love thy neighbour', and, 'love your enemies'. Aren't these the self same people?
True friends are like tea bags - It's not 'till you put them in hot water you realise how strong they are!
To forgive needs love, to forget requires strength.
When dating someone new, how can you tell when first impression is over?
And when can you get back to being your real self?
Some think that holding on makes them strong when sometimes it's letting go.
I always assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are your fault.
Why is it called tourist season if you can't shoot at em?
I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before I could ask her out.
The greatest pleasure in life comes from doing something someone else has told you that you cannot.
At some point you will love someone so much you could eat them, then you'll marry them and wish you had. (Hannibal??)
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